SOCIAL MEDIA; WHERE I LOST AND FOUND MYSELF
I was eager to know it all, I so wanted to migrate to the 21st century person.
Initially all I wanted was to also get an android phone, I wanted to get busy with my phone like my older sister, I wanted to chat with my friends who also had phones. They use to talk about what they chat about in one group they have on WhatsApp.
They discussed the lady on Instagram and those guys on Facebook.
And I finally got myself here, I was here to have fun, I came here to extend my world and to hark back into the lives of celebs who are trying so hard to forget their past.
I came here to gossip, I came here to get updated on the lives of friends, to get affiliated with people I define as successful and to know more people who fall in my definition of beauty.
I was that girl who wanted to be a doctor after visiting the hospital, a journalist after watching the news and the owner of an insurance company after comparing the benefits with my layman’s mentality. I did not know exactly who I wanted to be in future, but whatever I was to become, I was ready to be great.
We had social media usage as assignments for vacations. Sometimes we are asked to send an email, open a gmail account or send an attachment. One of these assignments was to open a Facebook account. I opened the account and now to whom I should send a friend request kept me awake at night. Yes I was that friendless, lets say Facebook friendless.
So I searched for people with names similar to mine, and to the names of celebrities I know, then to my neighbors and classmates. I found some and some, I am yet to figure out how they spell their names.
I chat with my Neighbour’s occasionally and the people I know, through them I got to know a lot of people, through their friends and friends of their friends. Gradually I met personalities, I admired a lot about them so I decided to learn.
I could not go a day without knowing what they posted, without knowing what they wore, or what they are up to in general.
They seemed to have something in common. Something I also wanted to have and feel proud of. So I started learning their ways, I let loose my values, I let loose my dreams, I let loose a lot about my ownself that I can hardly remember who I really was before all this.
Right now I still believe I will be great one day, but my dreams are so diluted I am currently just going with the flow.
I read quotes, believed them and started living my life believing the world is against my success and so I have to show through social media to my enemies that I am successful even when I wasn’t, and actually had no one watching my back. I lived believing I don’t owe anybody an explanation to my life and that I can do whatever I want. Short quotes affirmed my new believes and I kept on forgetting myself. I found friends who were ready to explore the world like me, so we did a lot. Went to the KFC’s, the Malls and we kind of had a place to be every weekend. We did the heavy make-ups, we wore the latest clothings and twerked our lips for all the selfies. I really had fun and day by day I was looking to match the standards of my new friends if not to beat them.
It was fun, we lived our youthful life to the fullest and as you might be guessing, we had the bachelors on our list. I will leave their part of the story for another day.
Two years on, I still remember my identity, yes I am a Muslim. Even though I don’t abide by some rules like the hijab and others I can’t specify, I never forget I am a Muslim. I might combine the prayers and pray all together, but I am a Muslim. I might do my turban and all that trousers stuff. But one thing I kept in mind was my identity as a Muslim. So I joined one of our Muslim sisters meetings, and believe me I was impressed. I tried dressing to blend up with them, but i fell out of line since it’s been long I dressed like them. Nevertheless I loved the message. I learnt a lot and I made resolutions. We shared our social media handles during the break hours.I loved what some of them were doing.
I followed them and I followed more. I realized there is a new view to life. There is a way to be great , feel great, look great and do great for yourself and the people around you. I decided to live a life that is less selfish. I decided to live for my people. I decided to live for humanity. I decided to re-write my story. I can chill, take all the selfies, be all fancy, and also have a dream.
I can go back to my roots, and chase my dreams. Even if the road seems blurred, there is always another way and all I needed to do was stay focused, work hard and be true to myself.
So am picking up the broken pieces. I am making up for all the time I wasted, I am making up for my soul, my life and my world.
I have got to restructure what appears on my wall. I need more visionary quotes this time round. Motivational acts and many other relevant contents on my wall. I should pick inspirations and success based tips on my wall and not how to only look good. I should pick up good behaviors and not the other way round. A passionate and positive sense my social media should instil in me. I am realizing this now, but social media is limitless until I limit myself. I am going to go the extra mile, to make up for my wasted days.
I need to define my always self aware greatness. More to it and more for it. Greatness from all angles. My social media is only the beginning and the beginning is got to be firm.
Your sister,
Nuhu Alimatu Sadia
ummi.ug@gmail.com
ummuabuuha.blogspot.com
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