RED PANTIES

Suddenly the place was burning, a form of sensation I have never felt since birth. I mostly heard my classmates discuss about menstruating and many other related issues. I can say I picked most of my information from them, aside what our teacher taught us during our 'reproduction' class. Being it right or wrong I have taken them as I heard. I am 14years old, the youngest in my class, JHS 3. The Amazing thing is that, I am the only female in this class who has not yet seen my pants turn red, though I have seen some little hair grow around my private area and my armpit, I am impatiently waiting for the day I will see my panty turn red. Everyday I get disappointed and go back home with my panty still white, and just stained with a little bit of fluid as usual.

Today seems different, have I finally menstruated?  Am I going to walk proudly, feeling like a real lady? Anyway let me find out. I rushed into the washroom, and to my surprise, my purse was dumped in the stagnant urine, Oh God!, what happened to my little coins. Anyway that is not the reason am here, I can get new coins from my parents tomorrow, the joy of menstruating has taken away the pain of my stolen purse.

There it was, something not red, but between green and brown, the feeling was overwhelming. I walked quietly back to class, sitting quietly and waiting to hear the closing bell, I have great news for home. That day I did not wait for my usual home going friends, I walked faster than usual, though the fear of staining myself was inevitable, when in reality it is very rare to stain yourself on the first day.

After greeting mum in the sitting room, I went to my room to put down my school bag. I came back to mum with the intention of telling her about my new discovery, so I sat beside her in the sofa. My lips got heavy, I racked my brain for the best vocabulary, I even tried it in all languages I speak to see which one makes it easier to say, and also explains best, which one will not have me repeating myself, I don't think I can say this twice, I am shy. Mum was soo focused on the television which gave me the chance to think twice, thrice or even more. But that actually was the problem, I didn't know how to draw her attention back to me, I do not know whether to start talking right away which might need me to repeat myself, or to call for her attention which might cause me to be speechless. I thought for sometime and decided to take care of things myself, it has been 4hours since I saw this blood and if I don't act quick, I would not have to speak up, it will do so for itself.

I reached to my saved coins and counted how much I had, at least I had heard from my friends in class about the use of a pad, I have seen one in it's package before, I am yet to try one on. I have not gotten any clear orientation on how to do so, but I am yet to see how far my intelligence and determination will take me. I rushed to the nearest convenience shop, and bought the most popular pad I have seen on television, hoping that will be the best, "Always" I bought "Always Sanitary Pad".

I looked round the package of the sanitary pad, and there was no form of tutorial on how to use it, not even a tip. OK, this is getting really hard for me, but I still need to take the next step, I have to try pinning the sanitary pad in my pants. I think I have found a way, the sanitary pad looks straight with two feathers, and with the little sense I have, I think the feathers have to be pushed to the back to ensure the longer side has a firm grip on the pants. After putting it on and wearing it, I can walk freely without anybody noticing I have a pad on. I now have to take care of the spiritual aspect of the situation.

I never paid full attention when my Islamic school instructor was giving lessons about the purification bath. This Saturday I pray he talks about it, so that I will secretly pin down necessary points for my survival. But before then I have to read about this in the books available at home. I hope I understand the terminologies and get the whole process right.
It actually seems easier than I thought, I told myself, " don't think I need the help of anyone anymore", I can survive on my own. This is just simple. So I ignored my parents, I ignored my siblings, I ignored any source of counsel about puberty and decided to put my ears on the ground, fishing out and recording necessary information anytime I come across any. This has been going on for a year now and still no sign of enquiry from my parents, do they think I am still young or are they shy to talk about it? Are they going to ignore this till the end or maybe they will talk about it on my wedding night before they take me to whom I might belong to. Will they ever mention this? Is this how their parents also treated them? And is this how the whole thing is actually like? Then where did my classmates get all those information's from, are they also attentive listeners like me or am I the only one in this crisis.

It's been a year already, and I am now experiencing some very serious pains in my abdomen during my time of the month. There was even this month in which I did not menstruate, but I am now in the senior high school and in the boarding house. I have no one to talk to about this, and our house Mistresses are too busy with over 1000 students, imagine me crawl in with some lower abdominal pains, I bet she will give me Panadol to relieve my pain, and tell me to wait until Monday and go to the hospital.
So I confided in one of my dorm mates who introduced me to this herbs that relieved her pain within seconds, she gave me more and told me to take them every morning or anytime I feel like taking them, she also said it will help with my clots and also help me menstrate very well every month. I took it throughout that week of my menstruation and it actually worked. I later  realised I wanted to take it more, I went back to my school sister and she tells me it is fine and good for my body so if I feel like taking it I should take it as much as I can. I began sleeping during class hours and feeling a bit below the bar unless I have my leaves with me.
This girl I am sitting on the same desk with realised my ordeal, and asked me about it, I told her I will be fine I just need to take my leaves. I pulled it out of my bag to chew and she started sneezing, after the third sneeze, she held her breath and told me that is marijuana. OMG Mari what...?  I told her to please keep this between us and that I am not going to take it again. She promised to keep it a secret, but I could not keep my end of the promise, I now started sneaking into the bathroom to take it, I could not help myself. She realised I needed help and reported me to my housemaster. The sister who introduced me was sacked from the boarding house and I am under strict supervision for rehabilitation. From time to time the urge goes up and I feel like I will die if I don't take it, I end up sleeping, only to wake up a bit refreshed.

The most embarrassing moment was when my parents had to come to the school for briefing on my situation, they insisted on taking me home, but school authorities did not allow, "they can come for me later" , says the headmaster.

How I wish I could stand on the tallest building or the tallest tree in the world and shout to all parents out there to sit their wards down and educate them about how to take care of themselves during puberty, describe to them which parts of their bodies might change, tell them what to expect and what not to do. Tell them about the dangers of somethings and try to make a friend out of them before someone else does.
A friends information to your child might be right, but any little misleading affects your ward gravely. Alot of diseases and infections are walking around these days and you must sit down and counsel your daughter on how to avoid cervical or breast cancer at the earliest  stage of her life.
What if your child, unluckily find herself with some messed up kids, she goes out and they tell her all sort of lies that could endanger her life. she will buy into them, because that is the only option presented to her, not everybody is smart, most of us might end up in a very big mess if not guided by our most trusted companions "Family".

Why is it hard to talk about puberty and maturity with our wards? Why is it hard to give them the required details of the sexuality? 
This is causing teenagers today more harm than good. Alot of drugs are being sold out there, and they describe ailment in such a way that, you will be convinced that you need their drug. Our younger siblings go out there buying all sort of things, mixing salt with all sort of powders and soap because they think they have white. Nobody has ever explained to them that their red panties are not supposed to be dried, and a little bit if lubrication as a lady is normal. They go round taking all sort of concoction in order to feel good because they know very little about themselves. Any little transformation in their body scares them, and they will go to any length to get themselves the perceived ideal body shape and size.

Cancers are real.
Infections are real.
Peer influence is real.
Addiction is real.
Save your ward today,
Tell a friend to tell a friend.

Your sister,
Nuhu Alimatu Sadia
Ummi.ug@gmail.com
Ummuabuuha.blogspot.com